Washington, D.C.—In a meeting with several Chinese people, Vice President Kamala Harris stunned the world with a brave new display of diplomacy as she repeatedly shouted, “Ching, Chong! Me sound rike you!”

“I learned this method in junior high,” explained the VP, “whenever there was a group of kids or a person I really wanted to get along with, I just dressed like them and talked like them. I was the most popular kid in school!”

Harris then put on a rice hat and said emphatically, “Ham fry rye! You want fortune cookie? You want fortune cookie?!” Suddenly the phone rang. It was President Xi. He said, “Herrow? Dis Xi Jinping China plesident. You make hald balgain. We reave Taiwan arrown; you give me fortune cookie! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

For this and her work in France, Vice President Harris will no doubt be receiving the Nobel Peace Prize.