Provo, UT—Elder Holland has returned to BYU to issue an official apology for his incendiary remarks given a month ago at BYU. In his original remarks Elder Holland encouraged BYU faculty and students to grab a musket and go shoot a queer—or something like that… no one really knows for sure.
“I deeply regret any confusion I may have caused when using my musket metaphor,” began Elder Holland, “I realize now that my analogy may have been misleading to some. Actually, what I meant to say was M-16. In order to win a war against these people you’re going to have to go full auto.”