Salt Lake City, UT—The Church Correlation department has announced that Brigham Young will be excommunicated for being a false prophet.

“We tried our best to work with Brigham’s teachings, but in the end we felt it was way easier to excommunicate the guy instead of trying to explain everything he did that the Church now repudiates.

“However, Brigham Young may not be the only false prophet of the restoration… We will have to rely on future generations to do their research (preferably by listening to podcasters like John Dehlin) and help us decide which prophets were true and which ones were false as societal norms change,” said one Church historian.

For now the focus is on Brigham Young. From Adam-God, to having more wives than historians can keep track of, to the Canaanite priesthood ban, to being the founder of #DezNat. It’s basically agreed upon by modern Mormons that Brigham Young was definitely a false prophet.