Salt Lake City, UT—In a truly disheartening act, eleven apostles in the Quorum of the Twelve decided to quickly retake their quorum photo after Elder Holland stepped out of the room.

“He’s fat, ugly, and makes the rest of us look like a bunch of idiots,” said Elder Uchtdorf. “We’re tired of his flappy joules ruining the picture.”

“Elder Soares and Elder Renlund have been eating nothing but rice cakes for the past 18 months in preparation for this photo, but Elder Holland doesn’t seem to care about the appearance of the quorum. He has been stuffing his face with nothing but bacon and donuts,” Elder Ballard exclaimed.