Salt Lake City, UT—The Mormon Church surprised audiences today by announcing that there will be no more seasons of General Conference. Reportedly, ratings for conference have been in the tank for several seasons in a row.
The announcement came just two days after the church announced it would be cancelling the Saturday evening sessions of conference.
“We tried cancelling the Priesthood and Relief Society Sessions first, hoping that people would think it was all in the name of gender equity,” explains Richard Turley Jr., Managing Director of the church’s Public Affairs Department. “It became clear, however, that we needed to save more money than that. The show just couldn’t stay afloat on its own.”
The church has not revealed how much money it was loosing by continuing to air General Conference, but evidently it was cutting too much into their $100 Billion.
“I’m a little upset,” expressed one Utah man. “It was the one week a year that I could sleep in on Sunday and nobody would notice.”