Your Local Baptist Church—This Sunday’s sermon at your local Baptist and/or non-denominational Christian church centered on the saving power of Jesus. But the pastor made sure the congregation knew that there was one thing the blood of Jesus could not do—save Mormons.

“The Kingdom of Heaven will be filled with pedophiles and serial killers who insist they believe in Jesus,” said the preacher, “but you can THANK GOD there won’t be any Mormons there!”

The Mormons perceive this teaching as evidence that their side is right. “Being hated is a sign that you’re right,” said a Mormon missionary. He continued, “Jesus, Joseph Smith, and Hitler were all hated.”

It has been the policy of the Mormon church to try and convince local pastors that they are indeed Christians. Presumably, this is because they want to be saved and are afraid of approaching the Pearly Gates without the local Baptist Preacher’s seal of approval.

But to date, the preachers aren’t buying it.

“Sure Mormons are good people who believe in Jesus, but they haven’t said the special prayer,” the preacher said. “On a technicality this condemns them to the deepest pits of Hell for all eternity.”