The Church has announced plans to offer its members zoom endowment sessions.

“We made the mistake earlier this year by deeming temple work non-essential. These zoom endowments sessions will show that we still believe in temple work even if that means that we have to disregard its sacred nature to get it done,” said President Nelson.

The change was apparently met with some opposition at first, but has since gain favor in the upper echelons of the church. “We realized that the endowment was now a mostly passive movie-like experience anyway,” said Elder Ballard, Acting President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “and that moving the temple to an online platform would be an effective, efficient, and cheaper way of helping our members all over the world receive these sacred ordinances.”

The church has announced plans to sell off all of its temple structures now that they’re no longer necessary to the endowment experience. “The temples would make great dance halls or event centers,” said President Nelson. “Call to ask for pricing.”