Ogden, UT—A Utah man has revealed a special chokehold that he guarantees will get your deadbeat son to go on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He calls his new hold Choked-to-Serve.
The secret? Grab him by the hair and slam his head against the ground multiple times before moving to a standard stranglehold.
“I never thought serving a mission was for me,” says Aaron, son of the chokehold’s inventor, “but while I was blacking out after the beating of my lifetime, I had a sudden change of heart.”
Aaron has recently been called to the Japan Sapporo Mission.