Salt Lake City, UT—Progressive Mormons are demanding the Church replace its iconic angel Moroni statue with a golden calf. The movement was inspired after an earthquake last year knocked Moroni’s trumpet off of the Salt Lake Temple.

“Moroni is a symbol of the patriarchal restoration and its doctrines of misogyny and bigotry,” said Sally Knotnershorts, President of BYU Democrats. She continued, “We believe the Golden Calf is a more inclusive symbol that is capable of healing decades of myopic dogma in the Church.”

Another self-identified progressive Mormon said, “the Lord wants His Church to fit in the world. Part of the ongoing restoration means that the Church will become more secular and more humanist. That’s what the Golden Calf means to me.”