Salt Lake City, UT—President Nelson celebrated his 96th birthday this week where he told some good friends that he attributes his good health and longevity to his daily serving of green Jell-O.
Many people had previously thought that long life expectancy among Church membership was due to adherence to Section 89 of the Doctrine & Covenants known as the word of wisdom. But President Nelson’s recent comments has health scientists scratching their heads.
“When I said to take your vitamins what I meant to say is eat your green Jell-O,” said Nelson. Just hours after news broke of Nelson’s statement, people all over Utah rushed to their local grocery stores and ransacked the Jell-O aisle like it was Black Friday. There’s even a new diet gaining popularity among Utah’s diet schemers called the green Jell-O diet.