Utah—A poll conducted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints found that 1% of Church members are excited to return to weekly Church services so that they can share new material at Open Mic Sunday (Sometimes referred to in the Church as Fast and Testimony Meeting).

“I can’t wait to get up to that podium and share my testimony about the relationship that I have with my cats,” said one poll responder.

‘I’ve been waiting five months to tell everyone about my divorce,” said another.

“I’m just bursting to tell my ward family about a new essential oil that will cure 99% of diseases,” said another responder.

About 48% of those polled said they’re expecting to be thoroughly entertained when they returned to normal Church services.